yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
