doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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