how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize