Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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