How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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