I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The best revenge is premature balding
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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