So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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