You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
