It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize