You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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