Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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