my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I enjoy the company of your penis
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
