When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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