How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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