just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
