Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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