That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
