I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
