I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
