I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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