we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
