hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
