come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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