Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
