omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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