matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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