that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I pour the whiskey from now on
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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