Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
