why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
