I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
