i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
