My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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