I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
