he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The air taste purple.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
