Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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