spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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