Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
