You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
birth control should be required to get into college
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Randomize
