I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
its not stalking. its research.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
