If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
