What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
