What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
