those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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