Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
COCAINE IS GR8
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
