I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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