for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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