If that was your dad, he is hot
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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