I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i think i just lost a toe
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
