Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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