College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Panties = found
Randomize