Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
