Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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