You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
