Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
