hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Send help, water and tortillas.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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