My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
