mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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