There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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