Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize