True but thats because hes a fetus.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
