She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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