Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
