i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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