I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
