she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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