guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
