I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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