"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
