You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
