If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
