This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
