What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize