maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
