i was born a porn star she said
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
