were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
