1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
