I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
