You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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