do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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