Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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