My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Randomize
